Hmm. That smells nice!

Let's open with a clear statement: I know nothing about cosmetics and what are generally called "toiletries." Especially for men. I could say "gentlemen" but that would only apply to a minority within the male genus. I know what I like and have somewhat tried and tested opinions. For example: Chanel Anteus is a superior cologne,and so also is Trafalgar (Trufitt & Hill); and all men's shaving soaps, balms, oils and general accoutrements must, without question, come from St. James', Piccadilly, or else justify their existence. No exception.

On visiting my family in the UK I was lucky enough to be given a late Christmas gift - a box of shower gels and soaps manufactured by Marks & Spencers. Delightful. I love these gifts, and in my daily routine of cleanliness have already put some of them to work. The tubes that I have opened lather quite well and have a generally pleasant scent, but bear no resemblance to the name on their labels. Black Pepper and Rosemary. Rich Herb. Lemon Spice. Correct me if I'm wrong, but do I detect a cross-over between the bathroom and the pantry? I think that I do, for these are the sort of blends that I would ordinarily use to create a simple pasta sauce. Or salad dressing. The uneducated palate wouldn't care about the bubbles, and the more polite simply would say nothing!

But wait! It doesn't stop there. To be true to the cross-over culture... After I have posted this ridiculous column I must soak in the tub. It's been a long day. I am already eyeing up the tubes of anchovy paste and the remaining jar of Patak's Medium Curry Paste. Relax ...